Perseverance with St. Francis

It can be hard to continue on a road less traveled when the twists and turns seem to lead only to more twists and turns. None of us can see the end of any road, really, but the results of roads less traveled are even more difficult to predict. Rarely in life do things come together as quickly or smoothly as we might want. These past weeks have been times of deep prayer, waiting, hoping, and unexpected support and joy. They have also been weeks of anxiety, uncertainty, and questioning.

I have found a certain amount of comfort reading Nikos Kazantzakis’ novel on the life of St. Francis. In this rendition, Francis sets out from Assisi little knowing where the road will lead or what exactly he is being called to do. He only knows that God is compelling him to leave all behind and find the salvation of his soul. In some ways, this has been my journey. Like a fire burning in my bones, I have followed a unique calling, not knowing exactly where I will be led.

I am learning to trust the journey. So often my heart is full of uncertainty and fear. I, like many people, like things to make sense and to happen quickly. But the spirit that drives me, she is like the wind and I am caught up in it. Slowly, I am learning that this too is the work of God in my life. I am learning to rejoice in the wind.

And God has been faithful. My needs have been provided for. Amazing support and mentors have entered my life. And plans are coming together to begin ministry.

Everything may not happen just as I had originally thought, but there have been lovely experiences at every twist and turn. I think of the forests that I love so much. When I hike a new trail, I never know exactly what will be over the next rise or around the next bend. But there is always something beautiful—trees towering and dripping with moss, a stream, a view of a rocky beach, a tiny squirrel. At each point, the meaning is in the journey, the lessons I am meant to learn are already present. There is no end to this journey, no arrival. Ministry happens at each step and learning never ends.

This summer, I have learned much about myself. I have deepened my spiritual practices. I have learned to wait. And I have been inspired to begin a new phase of ministry. I am finding that the ideas, the inspiration, the support all come as I journey. God brings them all one at a time.

Be still my soul and wait. "For you will see what I will do."