A Grace Period

Many of you know that I have decided to step back from the whirlwind that has been my ordination process and take this next year for discernment. 

There are many reasons why I decided to this. Most importantly, I feel a deep need to continue in discernment around my call. From the beginning of this process, I have remained committed to doing work outside traditional parish ministry. As I have matured in ministry, that commitment has remained and developed. As this year has unfolded, I have been less and less comfortable being on the “inside” of parish ministry and church work, instead of outside it with the people I love and respect so much. I have found myself in positions, while truly wonderful and doing good work, that are further away from where I feel called. I found myself making decisions that were in the best interest of a career in the church, but not necessarily in keeping with my deepest call.

I have been privileged to have found work and ministry that accesses my deepest joy and that makes me fully alive. Working alongside people on the street and people who live on the edge—as more and more of us are doing in this time of economic crisis—has made me become more fully myself. I have been deeply enriched by the wisdom and the courage and the faith of people in crisis due to an unjust economic system. I have committed myself to ministry in this context and to work that will confront unjust systems of power.

This decision, ultimately, is a choice for me to explore how I might do the work to which I feel called and to explore ways to do this in western Washington. I am open to the leading of the Spirit. I am also deeply grateful for the support I have received in the diocese to take this step and discern what my role in the church will be. I will remain a deacon in the Episcopal Church and continue to explore the future.

I approached this decision with a great deal of trepidation. After all, I was giving up a full time position after graduation and was halting a process that I had worked so hard to complete. And, yet, I have continually received confirmation that this is the right decision. While it means that my future is less certain, I am excited about what is developing and what God is leading me to do. I ask for your prayers as I take these next steps, catch my breath from several years of harrowing schedules and seminary work, and envision the next step in my ministry.